When witches go riding,and black cats are seen,the moon laughs and whispers,‘tis near Halloween.
Happy Halloween eve everyone! In case you are wondering, I did dress up in costume for school today. So I'm sitting here writing with my hair curled and wearing a tulle skirt and with black fairy wings attached to my back. Being in costume makes working just that much better.
Of course, it would be even better if I wasn't one of only like 10 people (including kids) who dressed up today. Where has all the fun of Halloween gone?
In order to truly celebrate the holiday I will be attending a haunted house tonight and then attending/throwing an amazing Halloween party tomorrow! Hooray for dressing up!
I'll post pictures soon, I promise. I just want you all to keep anticipating whether I really will ever post some.
10.30.2009
10.21.2009
"'What is the use of a book,' thought Alice, 'without pictures or conversations.'"-Lewis Carroll
Last night I had book club. I did not read the book. In fact, I never even opened the book and read the front cover. Once I thought about it and then did nothing about it. The cover didn't look very interesting and I am still reading the Mysterious Benedict Society so I wasn't in the mood to put that one down for this unknown book. Yesterday I thought about getting onto goodreads and seeing what other people thought about the book so I could pretend to know something about it when I got to book club. But I got distracted on goodreads and never got around to searching for the book.
I still went to book club. And the best part about it? We got a copy of our next book...Hunger Games. Which I've already read. But which I love and have been wanting to read again. I can't wait to start on it!
So after I didn't read a book and went to book club in order to get a free book, then I went to the temple to do baptisms with the ysa's. And let me just tell you, having someone younger than you baptize you is probably not the way too go. Those guys dunk you and yank you back up so fast that I thought I was going to have whiplash. It was all I could do not to break out in laughter right there. I tried to avoid eye contact with all people sitting outside the font. Because if I made eye contact, I would have laughed uncontrollably. Which is probably not a very good choice for the temple.
Oh and other good news from yesterday...our school got broken into and my office was trashed. Nothing stolen though because our burglars were really smart and packed up my lap top and then left it sitting in a bag still in the school. They also left their jackets and hats. I said that if they were smart enough to leave those, they might just be smart enough to come back in and ask for them. I suggested that we advertise that we have them and see who comes around.
Last night I had book club. I did not read the book. In fact, I never even opened the book and read the front cover. Once I thought about it and then did nothing about it. The cover didn't look very interesting and I am still reading the Mysterious Benedict Society so I wasn't in the mood to put that one down for this unknown book. Yesterday I thought about getting onto goodreads and seeing what other people thought about the book so I could pretend to know something about it when I got to book club. But I got distracted on goodreads and never got around to searching for the book.
I still went to book club. And the best part about it? We got a copy of our next book...Hunger Games. Which I've already read. But which I love and have been wanting to read again. I can't wait to start on it!
So after I didn't read a book and went to book club in order to get a free book, then I went to the temple to do baptisms with the ysa's. And let me just tell you, having someone younger than you baptize you is probably not the way too go. Those guys dunk you and yank you back up so fast that I thought I was going to have whiplash. It was all I could do not to break out in laughter right there. I tried to avoid eye contact with all people sitting outside the font. Because if I made eye contact, I would have laughed uncontrollably. Which is probably not a very good choice for the temple.
Oh and other good news from yesterday...our school got broken into and my office was trashed. Nothing stolen though because our burglars were really smart and packed up my lap top and then left it sitting in a bag still in the school. They also left their jackets and hats. I said that if they were smart enough to leave those, they might just be smart enough to come back in and ask for them. I suggested that we advertise that we have them and see who comes around.
10.16.2009
"Find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough."-Emily Dickinson
I rarely admit when I like a boy. Partly because I'm scared of what other people will think and partly because if I actually admit I like someone, then I open myself up to disappointment and hurt if it doesn't work out.
It's silly that I'm 27 years old and I still worry about what other people think, right? That seems like something you should get over when you are in middle school or something. Which reminds me of one of my favorite stories from middle school sleepover history. The Fab Five (my dad's nickname for the group of us that hung out in high school) were all at my house for our regular weekend sleepover. Which of course included talking about all of the boys that we were currently interested in. I don't even remember who I said I liked but Morgo responded with "Eww...he's not cute...his eyes are too close together!" Sadly, I still worry about the same things today. Like what if I admit that I like someone and my friends tell me that his eyes are too close together, that he's not cute enough, smart enough, or good enough? If I only admit liking someone to myself, then I can imagine that everyone in the world would think that he was as great as I myself do.
Then there's the other part of not admitting it. The part where I could possibly get hurt. And somehow I trick myself into thinking that if I don't admit out loud that I like someone, then the hurt will be less. Obviously not true but I like living under these lies that I constantly tell myself.
So the point is, I never tell anyone. And yesterday I admitted to "being interested" in someone. Now I just have to worry about convincing them to being interested in me!
I rarely admit when I like a boy. Partly because I'm scared of what other people will think and partly because if I actually admit I like someone, then I open myself up to disappointment and hurt if it doesn't work out.
It's silly that I'm 27 years old and I still worry about what other people think, right? That seems like something you should get over when you are in middle school or something. Which reminds me of one of my favorite stories from middle school sleepover history. The Fab Five (my dad's nickname for the group of us that hung out in high school) were all at my house for our regular weekend sleepover. Which of course included talking about all of the boys that we were currently interested in. I don't even remember who I said I liked but Morgo responded with "Eww...he's not cute...his eyes are too close together!" Sadly, I still worry about the same things today. Like what if I admit that I like someone and my friends tell me that his eyes are too close together, that he's not cute enough, smart enough, or good enough? If I only admit liking someone to myself, then I can imagine that everyone in the world would think that he was as great as I myself do.
Then there's the other part of not admitting it. The part where I could possibly get hurt. And somehow I trick myself into thinking that if I don't admit out loud that I like someone, then the hurt will be less. Obviously not true but I like living under these lies that I constantly tell myself.
So the point is, I never tell anyone. And yesterday I admitted to "being interested" in someone. Now I just have to worry about convincing them to being interested in me!
10.07.2009
I'm feeling a little homesick...
...to hang out and travel and talk to my mom
...and play games and hug and love on the cutest niece and nephew in the world
...and hang out with and laugh with the best sisters and best friends that I have
...and talk with and explore with the best brother and sister-in-law you could ask for.Wouldn't you be homesick too?
10.06.2009
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.-Dr. Seuss
I don't like doing things that I'm not good at. I especially don't like doing things that I'm not good at when everyone else is good at those same things. I doubly especially don't like doing things "just for fun" when I am not good at it and everyone else is.
Evidence A-Bowling
I know what you are thinking-how can I not like bowling? Isn't that un-American or something? Possibly...but the truth is, I hate it because I am bad at it. I am quite certain that my best score has never broken 100. In fact, my best score has probably never even broken 80. So it's the worst when someone says...lets go bowling...it will be fun. And I know that while it may be fun for those people that are good at bowling, it is rarely fun for me. The other horrible thing about bowling...I can't just sit on the sidelines and enjoy watching everyone else bowl because then I am suddenly a party pooper.
Evidence B-Volleyball
I learned long ago that there is never a "just for fun" game of volleyball. Especially if there are boys involved. (Oh, unless it is water volleyball in which case it can be "just for fun". Also, I learned this summer that I am pretty awesome at water volleyball so I do not hate it...because I hate the things I'm bad at, not the things I am awesome at). I officially quit playing volleyball my freshman year of college when I realized this sad truth. And if you are the one that is not so great, you are the one getting yelled at. And getting yelled at is never fun.
Evidence C-Talking in front of large groups of people
It's not fun, I'm not good at it, and I guarantee that at any given time, there are at least 5 people listening who know more about the subject than I do. This one I actually wish that I was good at. But alas, it is not the case.
So the question is...how do I learn to enjoy these things that I'm not good at? Because as much as I would like to never participate in any of them, I know that societal pressures will keep me bowling and "playing" volleyball and publicly speaking. Boo to societal pressures.
I don't like doing things that I'm not good at. I especially don't like doing things that I'm not good at when everyone else is good at those same things. I doubly especially don't like doing things "just for fun" when I am not good at it and everyone else is.
Evidence A-Bowling
I know what you are thinking-how can I not like bowling? Isn't that un-American or something? Possibly...but the truth is, I hate it because I am bad at it. I am quite certain that my best score has never broken 100. In fact, my best score has probably never even broken 80. So it's the worst when someone says...lets go bowling...it will be fun. And I know that while it may be fun for those people that are good at bowling, it is rarely fun for me. The other horrible thing about bowling...I can't just sit on the sidelines and enjoy watching everyone else bowl because then I am suddenly a party pooper.
Evidence B-Volleyball
I learned long ago that there is never a "just for fun" game of volleyball. Especially if there are boys involved. (Oh, unless it is water volleyball in which case it can be "just for fun". Also, I learned this summer that I am pretty awesome at water volleyball so I do not hate it...because I hate the things I'm bad at, not the things I am awesome at). I officially quit playing volleyball my freshman year of college when I realized this sad truth. And if you are the one that is not so great, you are the one getting yelled at. And getting yelled at is never fun.
Evidence C-Talking in front of large groups of people
It's not fun, I'm not good at it, and I guarantee that at any given time, there are at least 5 people listening who know more about the subject than I do. This one I actually wish that I was good at. But alas, it is not the case.
So the question is...how do I learn to enjoy these things that I'm not good at? Because as much as I would like to never participate in any of them, I know that societal pressures will keep me bowling and "playing" volleyball and publicly speaking. Boo to societal pressures.
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