So I've been thinking, why is it that you can break-up with a boyfriend when you are in a relationship that is obviously not working, but you can't break-up with your friends when you are in a relationship that is obviously not working?

I've been in dysfunctional relationships in the past-both the love kind of relationships and the friendship kind of relationships. The love kind of relationships always ended after a few months because things "just weren't working" anymore.

We both went our seperate ways, sometimes with hurt feelings, sometimes not. We would maybe send an email occasionally-even less frequently we might get together for lunch. We didn't hate each other (at least after some time had passed we didn't hate each other). We just knew that the relationship didn't make us better people and we moved on.

But I've had way too many friendships that just don't work...but instead of accepting the fact and moving on, I keep trying to make the friendship work. Why?

I'm sick of friendships that make me feel like I'm not good enough-and I think if there was a way to "break-up" now would be the time.

I left Blanding/Halchita for a whole week and spent some time on the other southern side of the great state of UT. And while I was in St. George I apparently couldn't find any time to update my blog. Because, ya know, I was busy. Busy relaxing in the hotel room provided by the school district, busy learning about substance abuse, busy visiting real stores and real restaurants. And the free moments I did have were spent watching premieres of Glee and Grey's and Big Bang Theory and HIMYM. You know, the important stuff.

But my favorite moment of the trip. Visiting the St. George temple. The inside is just as beautiful as the outside and you can feel the love and peace radiating off of it. Love it.

Dear scale,

Thank you for reading that I have lost 5 pounds this week. I was scared that I would jump on and you would tell me that I hadn't lost at all. But instead, my hard work paid off. Yeah!
With much love, Your 5 pound lighter bff

Dear grief training counselor meeting,

Remember how I cried in front of my fellow counselors yesterday? And you reminded me of all the loss I've had in my life? And how maybe I haven't completely dealt with my grief? I'm not sure how I feel about those things. Except that I know how hard it is to be open and true with someone which is what I expect my little clients to do every day. And empathy is always a good lesson, even if it comes with crying. So I guess I'll forgive you for now.
From, The crying counselor

Dear school,

I don't want to be here today. I want to be pretty much anywhere but here. I'm sorry I'm hating on you today, I'm just tired and not feeling great. Maybe I'll have more love tomorrow.
With regret, The hater

Dear owl/feather necklace,

I'm glad that I was convinced to buy you while I was in Grand Junction on Saturday. Because you are super cute and I love you. That is all.
Love, The owl collector

Dear school fire alarm,

You almost gave me a heart attack just now. But at least you didn't make any of the little ones cry. And I am grateful that there wasn't a real fire.
Sincerely, Your scared school employee

It's time.

Time for a new attitude. A new outlook on life. A new me.

I've taken my first steps towards making my life what I want it to be. And as usual, I've made a list of what I want to see happen. With goals, lots of goals.

But this time I feel like something is different. I feel as though I might be able to stick with my goals this time. And accomplish what I've been wanting to accomplish for years.

So here it is, my list of things I'm working on:

1. Read scriptures/say prayers daily. No skipping. Because when I have a good relationship with my Heavenly Father, I automatically feel better.

2. Try out yet another way to clean up my ever burdening acne prone skin. I broke down and bought proactiv. I've been trying it for about a week and a half so I don't have much to say on that front yet. We'll see what it looks like in another 4 weeks. I'm hoping this one is finally the answer *fingers crossed*

3. Lose weight. For good. None of this losing 15 pounds and then gaining it back. My first goal-lost 30 pounds before 2011. Once again, I only just started to so I don't have much to report on yet. But I joined weight watchers. And I've actually been cooking (shocking, I know) and making healthy fun meals. I've also been walking-with friends or with my ipod. I feel dedicated and even after just a day, I feel better. Probably because I'm on the right track.
4. Be happy. I mean, I am happy but sometimes when I'm tired and sick of working, I get moody. And I hate moody Camille. So my goal is to be happy. All the time.

So there you have it, just a short list. But a short list that has the power to change my life. Now I just need the encouragement to keep up with it. To not give up when I get discouraged.

My newest favorite toy. I love it because it is cute and tiny and prints pictures that look just as good (or maybe even better) than the pictures I get from photo developing places.

It's a little tiny photo printer that isn't even 6 inches tall or 10 inches long. And I love it. I love it even more becasue I bought it for work so I didn't have to use my own money :) I would totally recommend buying one if money isn't an issue for you.

I have been working on the Navajo reservation for 765 days (sounds like an incredibly long time doesn't it?). Which equals out to 25 months or in other words-a little over 2 years.

I lived on the Navajo reservation for 10 of those 25 months. The rest of the time I've lived in a little town just outside of the reservation.

I've learned a lot about the culture but you know what I haven't learned? The language. Not even a little bit. I know just one or two words. Which doesn't hurt me in my job since I would say that 90% of our kids don't speak Navajo either. And the 10% that may speak some, still speak English. So learning this incredibly difficult language hasn't been on the top of my to-do list.

Nonetheless, I have picked up on a few words as I've spent time here. Like yaht (I don't know how to actually spell the word, just say it).

Guess what yaht means? Lice. And guess who spent all yesterday afternoon combing yaht out of student's hair? Me. I don't know how it falls under the counseling duties but I guess it's necessary for their overall health so maybe we could tie it in somehow.

Still...I'm wishing that yaht was a word I didn't know. Actually I'm wishing that yaht was a word that didn't even exist because there was no word for it.