For those of you that are concerned about my state of stressful living and my lack of sleeping, I have good news. My project at work is almost finished (I've been saying that for like a month but this time I really mean it, it's so close I can taste it), I found a place to move into that is so fun (think of an old house in a scary movie...textured wallpaper and all) and I have a final number of family/friend that will be here in 1.5 weeks and I've decided to let them worry about where they are sleeping and I'll just worry about my own sleeping.
So my biggest stress for today is thinking about moving all my stuff (again) this weekend. But i will be worth it. And I'll just think of it like a work out and then I'll feel better about myself anyway. Yeah me!
But enough about stress. I hate stress. I want to forget it and live in the moment. So to celebrate, here is my number 4 favorite thing about my break:
I got to reconnect with another old friend out in Maryland. I first met Tara in the 5th grade, we hung out in the 6th grade and we became inseperable best friends in the 7th grade.
She called after Clayton passed away and just talked to me. Looking back, she was probably scared to call because she had no idea what to say but she didn't let that stop her. She filled me in on school, I cried and told her I couldn't go on and she told me that she would always be there for me. And she was. She came to Clayton's viewing and cried with me. She didn't even really know Clayton but she knew that because he was gone, a part of me was gone.
Tara was there when I didn't get asked to Homecoming and everyone else did, when I had my first (and second and third) heartbreak, when my parents got divorced, when my dad got remarried.
We remained friends despite fights with friends and fights over boys. We lasted through high school and through college. We were "always and forever friends", siamese twins seperated at birth (I have a brown spot on my left hand and she has a white spot on her left hand...proof that we must have once been attached) and champion note writers. We were best friends-sisters-plain and simple.
And then somehow, I lost touch with one of the most important people in my life. I'm not sure how or when it happened exactly. I just remember talking on the phone one time and telling her that my grandmother had died the month before. My grandmother, who had played such an important part in my life, had passed away and I hadn't even thought to call my best friend.
We had grown apart without me even being aware of it. Since that day there have been so many times when I wanted to call her and tell her everything.
But like with all friends that you lose contact with, you wonder if they really want to hear from you.
So I didn't call, didn't text, didn't email. I stopped calling when I would go home because I thought she would be too busy for me. Or that we had finally reached a point in our lives where all our differences overshadowed our similarities.
And just like with Bekah, somehow 5 years passed by. 5 years.
I thought of Tara often but I wasn't brave enough to make the first step. But just like that first phone call after Clayton passed away, Tara was brave enough to pick up the phone. We only had a couple hours to spend together and we had way too much time to make up for. She's engaged and has a baby. I finished grad school and work on the indian reservation. We have new people that are parts of our lives and new experiences. Maybe for some people it would have been impossible to overcome all those changes, but for us-always and forever friends-it felt just like a beginning.
We talked like we had never been apart. Hanging out in her parents basement just like I had for so many days growing up. Her mom came down and called me "Big Wheel"-a nickname that I had completely forgotten about. Her dad made silly jokes and teased us. Her brother came down and gave me the biggest hug. Tara and I were together again. And I was home.
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