Monday morning thoughts...

1. This summer I'm totally going to NYC and then making a stop at Carlos' Bakery. Because I love Cake Boss and his totally awesome skills at making huge and extravegant cakes.

2. Speaking of this summer, have I mentioned that I'm taking a super long road trip with my roomie? Because I am. And if you live anywhere outside of Utah and in the northern half of the United States, don't be surprised if I call asking if you'd like some couch surfers for a night :)

3. I thought I would like contacts a whole lot more than I actually do. I love not having to actually wear glasses and I love being able to wear sunglasses and headbands again. And I love that it is mostly just like having good eyes again. But I so don't love that my eyes are really dry and sometimes my vision is cloudy. Is that normal?

4. I just got back from a wedding and I thought-I need to write down all the people whose wedding's I have attended so that when **positive thoughts to the universe** I get married, I can send all of them announcements to my wedding and get some nice presents back in return.

5. Does that make me selfish that I want to get presents in return for all of the presents that I have gifted?

6. I didn't wash my hair this morning and it saved me a good 25 minutes and miracle of miracles, it doesn't look horrible.

7. I don't like Monday's. I'm ready for Tuesday.

I've been feeling kinda blah lately. I haven't been satisfied with the way I look or the way I do my job or my relationships with other people.

I've been feeling a lot of the not good enough blues.

Which probably, most likely, definitely stem from me comparing myself to other people instead of just appreciating who I am.

Then I taught relief society on Sunday and while I was teaching I thought, enough is enough. I need to change my attitude.

So this week I have focused on changing the things I can and letting go of everything else.



I've worked hard to make my prayers more meaningful and consistent along with my scripture study.

I got contacts. Because even though people thought I looked fine with glasses and some people like me better with glasses, I felt like I wasn't pretty. And why suffer with thinking I don't look pretty with something that is so easy to change? So contacts are in.

Today I pick up my prescription for accutane so I can finally forever be rid of my oily skin and lovely breakouts. I can't wait for a few months when it will be finished!

And I've been waking up and actually getting ready for work. Picking out cute outfits and making sure my hair and make-up are done.

And guess what? My attitude really has improved. I've stopped talking down to myself and (tried) to stop comparing myself to others. I'm trying to use my self-talk to focus on what I do well instead of the things that I need to work on.

It's a constant battle but I'll take a small victory.

Guess how many nieces/nephews I had exactly three years ago from today...

If you happened to guess zero, you would be right on.

Then these two were finally adopted into our family...



And right after that, Brandon decided to have one of his own and he and Jessica welcomed this one into the world...



And a year later almost to that day, Chelsey and Chris decided to jump on the wagon and welcomed this little redheaded one...



Then Brittany was feeling a little left out, so she and Jerry had this sweet one 4 months later...



Around this time, Brandon and Jessica were thinking maybe they needed another one, so another 4 months later and...



Then Chelsey and Chris decided they might as well go for round 2, so 7 months later we were introduced to this one...



And you can guess who had some big news over Christmas. Brittany and Jerry are expecting again.

Oh wait, except to beat out the competition they figured they might as well go for 2 at once. That's right people, we have some twins on the way.

Welcome nieces/nephews 8 and 9.

Happy Wednesday Thoughts

1. My car is finished! And back in my hands! And beautiful. It took 8 weeks and a lot of tears and stress but it's officially over.

2. I may or may not be reconsidering my career as a counselor and thinking maybe I should become a professional cake decorator. My first attempt at decorating a cake (with some help of course)...


3. I got great news from my sister Brittany...which I'll share with you soon :)

4. I most definitely have the most beautiful and perfect nieces and nephews. Meet the youngest one, Cassidy.


5. I picked out a talk for my Relief Society lesson (President Uchtdorf's talk "Of Things That Matter Most" and realized after reading it that it is totally all about simplifying! Yeah for further inspiration that I have chosen the right word for the year.

6. I am wearing my feather owl necklace, which always makes me smile.


Happy Wednesday!

My car is fixed! Mostly

It looks like I'll have my own car back on Monday. Fingers crossed

Two months without a car really makes you appreciate how nice it is to have one of your own-the freedom and power that comes with having a car to yourself. Just pray that my car lasts years without having to get anymore repairs.

So in celebration of having my car back (almost) and in simplifying my life, I have decided to finish my monthly music countdown. Which has taken me 3.5 months to complete. But complete it I will!

Day 28 - A song that makes you feel guilty


This song makes me feel guilty for all the times that I haven't treated people the way I should have. For all the people that I should have reached out to and befriended and didn't.

Day 29 - A song from your childhood


Day 30 - Your favorite song at this time last year


I love the line "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end". Perfect for starting out a new year.

And I'm done! Something to cross off my list. Hooray!

Don't worry, I'm sick again. This time with a completely unwelcome cold that primarily involves congestion and runny noses and sneezing fits. Plus some over active tear ducts thrown in.

But I'll take a cold any day of the week over a nasty stomach flu so I'm surviving. Plus I have to be at work this week anyway since I took all of last week off so I have no choice to survive.

And speaking of surviving-I've been taking many trips to the doctor lately to see if they can figure out what is wrong with me (even though maybe it would actually take a trip to a psychiatrist to truly figure out what is wrong with me!). To make a long story short-I have stomach problems that have been plaguing me for years and on top of that I have some beautiful pitting edema (swelling that leaves imprints when pressed in) on my legs. Which apparently is not a good thing. Who knew?

The truth is that they have no idea what is wrong and I just keep getting more blood work to find out a whole lot of nothing. Except that my doctor did just inform me that my stress hormone is really high.

Could it be from working too much? Commuting long hours to work? Not knowing what is going on with my body? Drama with friends? The uncertainty of the future?

Probably all of those. But in an effort to have a better year this year than last year, I decided that I need to figure out a way to de-stress.

So I turned to one of my very favorite blogs found here.

Bekah has been my friends for years and years. Definitely my friend who I have kept contact with the longest. She is strong and smart and kind and creative and loving. Basically an example of the kind of person I want to "grow up" to be!

And I noticed whilst reading her blog that she picked out a word for the year. A word to focus on and work on. A word that means something to her.

Since making new year's resolutions always stress me out a little (or realizing that I failed to complete them yet again stresses me out a lot) and I am on strict doctor's orders not to stress, I decided that this year I would also pick a word. Just one word that I can work on.

And my word is:



And don't worry, right after I chose the word, I walked into a store and it was the first word that I saw. How is that for reinforcement/divine intervention?

This year I'm working on simplifying my life-my relationships, my thoughts, my goals, my house. Everything.

I think it's finally a resolution I can stick with.

Christmas was wonderful. I got to see all of my immediate family and a good portion of my extended family. Plus they all came to Utah this year so I didn't even have to worry about driving the 6 hours to an airport and then flying the 5 hours across country. Instead I just had to worry about the driving part. Except it was more like front seat riding part because my car is still not fixed (I know, I know...we are coming on 7 weeks on Tuesday from when I hit the deer. The joys of living in a small town). But I made it.

And it was fun. Until all the kids started getting the stomach flu.

Then guess what came to visit me on Saturday night? A nice little flu bug. Which has lasted pretty much this whole week. But finally today I'm feeling like myself. I'm up. And showered. And at work. So I would say I'm officially on the mend.

Hooray!

Which means you will be seeing more of me around this blog (hopefully). And I have big plans. Just you wait.