I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Well, okay, the truth is that I don't have a bed and I sleep on the 5 foot long couch in the trailer so I can't really wake up on the wrong side of it. But I think you understand what I'm saying.
First of all, I set my alarm for 5:30 PM...which is about 12 hours later than I need to get up in order to make it to work on time. So I didn't wake up until 6:10 when Angie got up and woke me up. Which means that I had to go to work with no shower and no make-up. My hair is a mess and I have a headache and I'm just not happy.
Then on the way to work I became fixated on the fact that no matter what I do, I can't seem to do the right thing in some people's eyes. I got angry, I vented to the ladies I ride with, then I felt guilty for talking. Which is ironic considering the whole reason I was venting was because people keep talking about me behind my back. And yet I'm the one who feels guilty. Story of my life.
I just hate it because I feel like I am doing the best that I know how to do. I wake up each morning and strive to be a little bit better. I do my best not to find faults in others. I forgive over and over. How is that not good enough?
Bah...for once I am really not looking forward to the weekend.
2 comments:
I think if I was sleeping on a couch for months and commuting 2 hours every day to a tough job- I would have blown my top a lot sooner than you did. It really is absurd. I am glad to hear that the room progress is going well but if something doesn't happen I don't know how much longer you can live like that. I wouldn't last a month! It certainly shows what a patient person you are.
Aw, I'm sorry that you're feeling down about that. Friend drama is NOT fun. Hope your weekend improves!
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