You can thank my laundry, my broken washing machine, the wii, the internet, friends, family, packing, wrapping presents and last minute shopping on my lack of posts lately.

I don't think I've slept more than 5 hours per night in the past 1.5 weeks. And I function best on 9. So I've been living in a half awake/half asleep dream world.

The good news is that today is the last day of work! And after work I head up north where I get to see both my parents, my siblings and their families. Plus my extended family and some friends thrown in there too.

So I can pretty much guarantee that you won't hear from me until the new year.

Have a very lovely Christmas and an even better end to 2010.

I sat in church last Sunday and listened to a beautiful Christmas program. There are some incredibly talented people in the world. People who can sing and play the piano and who can master anything musical. It makes me so jealous that I don't have any of those obvious talents.

I took piano lessons for years...and I can barely play the easiest of songs.

But, I did play the flute for about 4 years. And I still break it out occasionally to see if I can still handle the basics. I was never great. But I was good enough. And I did learn a few songs...

Day 26 - A song that you can play on an instrument



And if I ever do get around to mastering the piano. You better believe that this is the song I want to be able to play...

Day 27 - A song that you wish you could play

I live in a haunted house.

A really, truly haunted house.

I used to think that maybe it really wasn't haunted or that maybe I was going crazy but recent events have led me to believe that it is, in fact, haunted.

Now those of you that know me in "the real world" may be tempted not to believe me. You might be thinking about how much I love haunted houses and how much I love telling stories. And you may start to think that I am exaggerating a little. This was my mother's response when I told her.

But for those of you that are skeptical, I'm telling you that it isn't just a story. And, ironically, turns out I really don't enjoy living in a haunted house after all those years of talking about how much I loved haunted houses.

The thing is-it's creepy hearing weird noises or people talking or people walking around and shutting doors-it's creepy when you hear those things and you know that no one is upstairs. It's even creepier when you verify that there is no one upstairs by sending up boys with their guns to search the whole house (closets and showers included) just to make sure that someone hadn't snuck in at some point to scare us.

Our haunting started quite a few months ago when we heard very distinct and loud footsteps from upstairs. And no one was up there.

We tried to brush it off. Until a week later when we hear more footsteps. Then I got freaked out.

But then our ghost was quiet for awhile. Except that over Thanksgiving a picture may have been flung off the wall. And then more footsteps and doors shutting when no one was home. And then a little encounter where a voice was actually heard.

I'm not sure yet how I connect my strong religious beliefs with haunted houses. If you would have asked me a year ago, I would have told you that there is no way that ghosts really exist to come haunt people. But this year, I'm convinced somehow that they do.

I'll keep you posted. And just so you know, I'm still surviving despite knowing that I live with a ghost.

Remember how in the past two days I received a check for over $6000 and a medical bill for over $700. The bad news is that the check I received is all for my lovely deer damanged, still not fixed car. And the medical bill is all mine to pay.

If only that 6600 dollars was just for me to pay off my nice little bill and my school loans and car loans and old credit card debt. If only. Unfortunately not the case. But at least I have a little bit in savings that can pay off most of my medical bills and the rest of that debt will have to wait for another day and another paycheck.

Now enough complaining, I'm still working on remaining upbeat with positive vibes. So here is a song that always makes me laugh. Love it.

Day 25 - A song that makes you laugh

I'm tired today. Really, really tired.

I went to bed at a decent time and slept great but I've been so exhausted all day. I'm ready for the weekend. Or Christmas break. Or summer break.

But since it seems that none of those things can happen immediately, I'll settle with taking a little 3 minute break and sharing two more songs with you.

First off, a song I want played at my wedding, when I get married (positive vibes, positive vibes). And speaking of weddings, if any of you out there happen to know of an amazing man who is currently single and in need of a wife, send him my way. Because when we get married, you'll get to hear this song:

Day 23 - A song that you want to play at your wedding

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsOQ1HD09Gs

Unfortunately, it won't let me embed the video but trust me, it's worth going to!

And speaking of future events, one day you'll just have to go to my funeral. Hopefully one day far in the future. But when you show up to that one, you just might hear this (I can't promise this one since I obviously won't be present to make sure it happens):

Day 24 - A song that you want to play at your funeral

My days have been full. My life has been busy.

Since I haven't been posting, here's a small update on what's been going on in my life starting way back before Thanksgiving:

1. An incident with a deer that has managed to still render my car incapacitated. I'm hoping that I'll have a car back by January but I'm not holding my breath.

2. Two lovely visits up north to see my mom and meet my lovely niece Cassidy.

3. Christmas decorating, Christmas shopping, Christmas cookie making, Christmas movie watching. Christmas.

4. A visit from Heidi, one of my favorite people in the world, and a lovely time playing games (including way too much guitar hero).

5. Commuting and working which takes up a good majority of my day.

The good news is that even though I've been busy, life has been good. I've been sending out positive vibes to the universe hoping that positive things will happen to me. No more talks of "ifs" but of "whens". I'm planning for the future and I know it will be amazing. Good things are coming.

And just so you don't think I give up on everything I do in life, here are a few more of my faves (and not so favorite) songs...

Day 18 - A song that you wish you heard on the radio


Day 19 - A song from your favorite album


Day 20 - A song that you listen to when you’re angry


Day 21 - A song that you listen to when you’re happy


Day 22 - A song that you listen to when you’re sad

Garth Brooks-If Tomorrow Never Comes

I woke up before my alarm this morning. And for about five seconds I was super proud of myself. Until I realized that I woke up before my alarm because my stomach wasn't feeling so hot. And then I ran to the bathroom and dry heaved for like 5 minutes. If I thought there was a chance I was pregnant, I would totally think I was. Except that there is not a chance. So no explanation for the morning sickness.

But I was very proud of myself because despite my morning wake up call, I still came to work. And worked a full day (or at least in another 50 minutes it will be a full day). A day full of 6th grade drama and gossiping and name calling. And I survived.

So my reward for surviving? Day 17! I hear this song almost every day on the one radio station that I can get on my way to work. And ya know what? I like this song. And the video.

Day 17 - A song that you hear often on the radio

Remember how I started my song countdown a few weeks (okay fine...months) ago and never finished. Well since one of my goals is to finish what I start, welcome back to my list of my favorite-and not so favorite-songs.

I may have paused in the countdown because day 15 was really hard for me. Have you ever tried to think of a song that describes you? Cause it's hard. And so this was the best I could do, enjoy...I'll Stand By You.

Day 15 - A song that describes you



And for your viewing/listening pleasure, also enjoy a song I used to love but now I hate.

PS...don't judge me for previously liking Boys II Men
PPS...don't judge me for rethinking that I hate this song. Because now that I listen to it again, I'm starting to appreciate it all over again.

Day 16 - A song that you used to love but now hate

As is usual in my life (and especially in my blogging), I'm behind. It is now November 29, four days past Thanksgiving and I'm just getting my "I'm thankful for..." list ready.

But don't worry, even though I haven't made an official list, it has been on my mind a lot lately. In fact, I even made thankful turkey hands with the kids at school during one of my lessons last week. I don't want you to think that I am a completely ungrateful person.

Even still, I better post it on here to give credit where credit is due.



1. My beautiful new niece Cassidy who is tiny and perfect.
2. All of my other nieces and nephews who are also perfect and adorable and amazingly smart. They all have such different personalities and it is so much fun to see those come out as they get older.
3. Getting to see my mom and spend a couple days with her over Thanksgiving break. I love shopping with her and just being there. She's my hero.
4. Knowing that my family will all be together for Christmas. I'm looking forward to it so much.
5. My bff's...I have so many wonderful and amazing people in my life who inspire me to be better.
6. A good car that can mostly survive a deer hit. And that completely protected me from being harmed from that aforementioned deer hit. I feel so incredibly thankful that I wasn't harmed and that my car will eventually be as good as new.
7. A wonderfully talented sister who doubles as my hair stylist and cuts some pretty awesome bangs.
8. A little 2nd grader who walks in and the first thing she says is, "You look beautiful today Miss Camille." Who wouldn't be thankful for that kind of positive reinforcemtn?
9. And speaking of work-I'm thankful for the 5th graders who made me a poster and slipped it under my office door saying-thank you for helping us with our problems. So cute.
10. Okay, I'm thankful for all the little kids that I work with. Being a counselor in an elementary school is probably the closest I'll ever feel to being a celebrity. It's amazing to walk into a room and to see everyone's eyes light up. There's nothing like it.
11. My super comfortable bed (thanks also go to my mother who bought me the super comfortable bed).
12. Diet Coke-which out with I might never survive a day.
13. The internet where I'll be doing the majority of my Christmas shopping this year.
14. The great Savers right by my sister's house where I got a super cute coat for $15 and an almost brand new pair of Nike snow boots for $10 and an awesome vintage jingle bell wreath for $7.
15. The way that skinny jeans make my legs look so skinny :) I never tried a pair before because I thought skinny jeans were made for people who are skinny. And that would be something I'm not. But Chelsey convinced me to buy a pair at Old Navy for $15 and turns out, they look pretty darn good. I may be in love.
16. The fact that my Christmas shopping is going to make me bankrupt because it means that I'm surrounded by so many people that I love.
17. The beautiful Christmas trees (that's right...multiple trees) that are up in our house now and my Willowtree nativity which is also up. Christmas makes me happy.

I could keep going but I better save some of my thoughts for another day. It will motivate me to blog more often.

My life has been busy and exhausting lately. Thus the lack of posts.

But I am still alive.

Barely.

I'm excited for a week where I get to see my sister and cute niece and some of my very best friends.

And a week away from my usual life where maybe there will be less stress and more time to sleep.

I'm hoping at least.

Remember how I love Halloween?







I loved my costume (it's a peacock for those of you that can't tell), I loved decorating my haunted house, I loved hanging out with friends and meeting new people. Love, love, love.

I may or may not have fallen out of bed this morning. And by may or may not have, I mean I did. That's right people, I am 28.5 years old and I still fall out of my bed. It was a good wake up call though, so I got my butt out of bed at 5:30 a.m. which actually gave me enough time to get ready (good since it's picture day today at school) and even to shave (good since I have a dr appt today and I need him to look at my legs).

And you know what else, falling out of bed actually made me laugh. I was laying on my hard wood floor all tangled up in my down comforter at 5:30 in the morning and I was laughing. Maybe I should wake up that way more often!

And since I'm in a good mood, here is another of my favorite songs for you to enjoy:

Day 14 - A song that no one would expect you to love

It's weird because thus far I haven't put on any country songs. And I listen to a whole lot of country music. My most recently favorite song...I Cross My Heart by good ole George Strait.

I skipped day 12 because it is a Friday and I want to be happy and not think about things I hate. The universe is trying to work against me though and make me ornery and frustrated. I'm still holding strong and refusing to let said universe have its way with me.

In what ways is the universe working against me, you might ask? Well, yesterday I left work 1 hour early only to get halfway home and realize that the dr. appointment that I left work early for had been cancelled. So now I have to leave work early next week and go (not that I'm complaining about leaving work early, I would just rather leave early for fun stuff rather than cancelled dr. appointments). Plus I was really hoping that my flaky doctor would prescribe me something for acne-the current bane of my existence. That was frustration 1. Frustration 2-apparently in small towns no one wants my business. My hair business that is. I've been trying to find someone to color/cut my hair because it is driving me crazy and I won't be going up to SLC soon enough to have my lovely sister do it. Would you believe that Blanding does not have one single salon? And everyone who works from their homes apparently hates me and refuses to call me back/find time in their schedules to do my dang hair. So frustrating.

The good news is that it is Friday, I will most likely sneak out of work early and I have some big plans for my self which I'll fill you in on sometime next week. Be excited.

And on that happier note...
Day 13 - A song that is a guilty pleasure (don't judge me)

A random fact that you most likely don't know about me-I love Third Eye Blind. Every time I hear one of their songs, I'm transported back to high school.

Like when I hear How's It Going to Be, I always think of my first heartbreak. I remember going homecoming dress shopping with my besties right after my first love broke up with me. I was sitting in the back seat and this song came on and as I stared out at the stars, a few tears ran down my face. Hearing that song takes me right there.

Or when I hear God of Wine and I'm suddenly back at my senior prom. At my high school, prom was kinda a big deal and when you arrived at the high school, a red carpet was there to lead you into the gym. Parents and friends lined the red carpet to take pictures and cheer for you. My date decided that we needed to have some music playing as we walked in and his choice-God of Wine. Everytime I heard it I feel happy and beautiful and loved.

Third Eye Blind plays in my mind as I think back on high school. So enjoy this song (my favorite of all of their songs) and take a leap back with me into the 90's.

Day 11 - A song from your favorite band

Today is going to be a good day. I know it because as I drove to work today, I only had to pass one car.

That last statement probably needs an explanation. The truth is-I judge the quality of my day based on how many cars I have to pass as I drive to work. When you have to drive on a one lane highway, you appreciate the days when other cars don't get in your way. The days when there are hundreds (okay, maybe more like tens) of slow cars on the road that I have to pass on my way to work because they refuse to drive faster than 45 and I like to drive closer to 75, I know it's going to be a bad day. Probably because I start off the day with some road rage.

But today, I only have to pass one car. So even though my hair looks awful and I hate my outfit and I have a huge burn on my thumb and no make up on, I know it's going to be a good one.

To share my good day with you, I'm sharing day 10...

Day 10 - A song that makes you fall asleep

I couldn't think of a specific song but every single time I try to watch Fantasia, without fail, I fall asleep. So pretty much any song from the movie I guess :)

So you may have noticed that I've been m.i.a. for the past week. That's only because I was vacay-ing in southern California with my bff and her family. Even though the weather refused to cooperate, we still had a blast.

I swam in the freezing ocean, learned to boogie board, talked for hours and played about a million games of monkey bridge.

It was such a nice vacation and I was not ready to come back to work today. Not even a little bit. Especially since I didn't even get a tan so no one can even tell that I've been at a beach. Boo.

But since I'm back in the real world, I figured I might as well amuse you more with my next song...

Day 08 - A song that you know all the words to

Considering I have such a bad memory, it's pretty impressive that I know all the words to quite a few songs. They just stay in there.

But my favorite, Spiderwebs by No Doubt...



And since I've missed so many days, you will also be blessed with...

Day 09 - A song that you can dance to

I'm not much of a dancer but literally every time I hear this song, I can't help but move.



(sidenote...since lady gaga always has some questionable antics, I've included the video from my fave show again)

I'm a dork. Have I mentioned that? You can probably gather it from past posts but I'll just say it, I'm totally a dork.

What, you want proof?

Here it is then...Day 07 - A song that reminds you of a certain event.

When I was 12, I started young womens. And as part of personal progress, I picked that I would create an aerobic routine and perform it. Now before I tell you what song I picked, let me defend myself.

I didn't have anyone around to guide me in my musical pursuits. My older brother was a little (okay, a lot) more wild than I was. And his music portrayed his wild ways. The radio station in town consisted only of country music and I couldn't understand the country music way of life (until I hit college and then I started my love affair with country music). I did dabble a little bit in Green Day thanks to my middle school besties but that was pretty much the extent of my listening to "cool" music.

So when a complete dork who has little exposure to music is asked to create an aerobic routine to a song...what song would she pick?

Only A Whole New World from Aladdin.



Don't judge me. And don't make fun of me too much.

So this song will forever and always remind me of my aerobic routine performed in front of my family with my little sister Brittany.

Don't even ask me how we managed to accomplish this without the ridicule of my older brother Brandon. I'm still not sure why he didn't torment us relentlessly. Maybe some day I'll get up the courage to ask him if he remembers this. Or maybe I won't because he might decide that now would be the time to torment me about my bad music choices and my probably far worse dancing.

Day 05 - A song that reminds you of someone &
Day 06 - A song that reminds of you of somewhere

The date...February 14, 2001. The place...Brookview apartments in Provo. In order to celebrate my singleness for yet another Valentine's day (at that point I had only not been single once in my life on V-day) I decided that my roommates and I should all make sugar cookies. And while we made those cookies, we may have played this song on repeat for hours and sung at the top of our lungs.

I'm pretty sure all of our neighbors hated us...I probably would have hated us if I had lived next to or above or below us on that particular afternoon.

So I present to you My Valentine by Martina McBride and Jim Brickman. Which will forever and ever remind me of Brookview apartments and the lovely ladies who were my roommates at the time-Megan, Morgan, Texann, Kristin and Heather.

Ironic that today would be Day 04 - A song that makes you sad. Because I feel sad today. All last week I was in a "woe is me" pity party. I was feeling discouraged and lonely and blah. Then this weekend things started to turn around. It was nice and cool and fall-y. The leaves are changing colors. I decorated for Halloween and was uplifted at church and visited with friends. I even wore pink tights to church with my grey boots which obviously made me smile.

It was good. Then I got a call last night and things turned again. I felt sad and confused and maybe even a little angry. I won't go into details and I don't want you to worry about me. Everything is fine-my family life is always just a little complicated :)

On the way to work this morning, I was still feeling a little sad. And so to include you in my woe is me pity party...enjoy a song that always makes me sad.

Day 03 - A song that makes you happy

With a doubt, Total Eclipse of the Heart always makes me feel happy. Could be my love for all things 80's. Or the fact that it always reminds me of when Meg and I drove to Texas and listened to this on repeat for hours until we had every word memorized. Or that it reminds me of singing American Fork Karaoke with Meg and Jarid suddenly jumped in to sing along unexpectedly. Regarless of why it makes me happy, it does.



And want to know what else makes me happy, the literal version. Because every time I watch it, I laugh so hard I cry. Every time. Enjoy!

Day 02 - Your least favorite song

Hmm...this one is a hard one. Not because there are songs that I don't like, because there are. But because I don't spend much time listening to the songs that I don't like. And as most of you already know, I don't have a great memory. So trying to remember songs that I don't like and choose not to listen to? Difficult.

If I had to pick one I guess I would go with Wannabe by the Spice Girls. I chose not to include the video because why would you want to watch the video of my least favorite song? I certainly don't want to go to the hassle of finding it and including it.

Disclaimer-I may still know all the words to this song. Sad, I know. Don't judge me.

Some days I have nothing to say. Not that nothing happens, I just don't feel like saying it outloud (sometimes I like to live in my own thoughts).

Lately, I've had nothing to say. And my blog has obviously suffered due to my silence.

I decided on a cure-all for days such as these. Enjoy my month of music (which may take more than a month, may take less...you never can tell with me).

Here's the list just in case you want to follow along:

Day 01 - Your favorite song
Day 02 - Your least favorite song
Day 03 - A song that makes you happy
Day 04 - A song that makes you sad
Day 05 - A song that reminds you of someone
Day 06 - A song that reminds of you of somewhere
Day 07 - A song that reminds you of a certain event
Day 08 - A song that you know all the words to
Day 09 - A song that you can dance to
Day 10 - A song that makes you fall asleep
Day 11 - A song from your favorite band
Day 12 - A song from a band you hate
Day 13 - A song that is a guilty pleasure
Day 14 - A song that no one would expect you to love
Day 15 - A song that describes you
Day 16 - A song that you used to love but now hate
Day 17 - A song that you hear often on the radio
Day 18 - A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Day 19 - A song from your favorite album
Day 20 - A song that you listen to when you’re angry
Day 21 - A song that you listen to when you’re happy
Day 22 - A song that you listen to when you’re sad
Day 23 - A song that you want to play at your wedding
Day 24 - A song that you want to play at your funeral
Day 25 - A song that makes you laugh
Day 26 - A song that you can play on an instrument
Day 27 - A song that you wish you could play
Day 28 - A song that makes you feel guilty
Day 29 - A song from your childhood
Day 30 - Your favorite song at this time last year

Day 1-my favorite song would probably have to be Imagine. Mostly because I can listen to it over and over and never get sick of it. And it hits a spiritual note with me too which I love. Most recently, I loved the Glee version of Imagine (and ps...expect to see lots of Glee love on this list).



Seriously, love.

So I've been thinking, why is it that you can break-up with a boyfriend when you are in a relationship that is obviously not working, but you can't break-up with your friends when you are in a relationship that is obviously not working?

I've been in dysfunctional relationships in the past-both the love kind of relationships and the friendship kind of relationships. The love kind of relationships always ended after a few months because things "just weren't working" anymore.

We both went our seperate ways, sometimes with hurt feelings, sometimes not. We would maybe send an email occasionally-even less frequently we might get together for lunch. We didn't hate each other (at least after some time had passed we didn't hate each other). We just knew that the relationship didn't make us better people and we moved on.

But I've had way too many friendships that just don't work...but instead of accepting the fact and moving on, I keep trying to make the friendship work. Why?

I'm sick of friendships that make me feel like I'm not good enough-and I think if there was a way to "break-up" now would be the time.

I left Blanding/Halchita for a whole week and spent some time on the other southern side of the great state of UT. And while I was in St. George I apparently couldn't find any time to update my blog. Because, ya know, I was busy. Busy relaxing in the hotel room provided by the school district, busy learning about substance abuse, busy visiting real stores and real restaurants. And the free moments I did have were spent watching premieres of Glee and Grey's and Big Bang Theory and HIMYM. You know, the important stuff.

But my favorite moment of the trip. Visiting the St. George temple. The inside is just as beautiful as the outside and you can feel the love and peace radiating off of it. Love it.

Dear scale,

Thank you for reading that I have lost 5 pounds this week. I was scared that I would jump on and you would tell me that I hadn't lost at all. But instead, my hard work paid off. Yeah!
With much love, Your 5 pound lighter bff

Dear grief training counselor meeting,

Remember how I cried in front of my fellow counselors yesterday? And you reminded me of all the loss I've had in my life? And how maybe I haven't completely dealt with my grief? I'm not sure how I feel about those things. Except that I know how hard it is to be open and true with someone which is what I expect my little clients to do every day. And empathy is always a good lesson, even if it comes with crying. So I guess I'll forgive you for now.
From, The crying counselor

Dear school,

I don't want to be here today. I want to be pretty much anywhere but here. I'm sorry I'm hating on you today, I'm just tired and not feeling great. Maybe I'll have more love tomorrow.
With regret, The hater

Dear owl/feather necklace,

I'm glad that I was convinced to buy you while I was in Grand Junction on Saturday. Because you are super cute and I love you. That is all.
Love, The owl collector

Dear school fire alarm,

You almost gave me a heart attack just now. But at least you didn't make any of the little ones cry. And I am grateful that there wasn't a real fire.
Sincerely, Your scared school employee

It's time.

Time for a new attitude. A new outlook on life. A new me.

I've taken my first steps towards making my life what I want it to be. And as usual, I've made a list of what I want to see happen. With goals, lots of goals.

But this time I feel like something is different. I feel as though I might be able to stick with my goals this time. And accomplish what I've been wanting to accomplish for years.

So here it is, my list of things I'm working on:

1. Read scriptures/say prayers daily. No skipping. Because when I have a good relationship with my Heavenly Father, I automatically feel better.

2. Try out yet another way to clean up my ever burdening acne prone skin. I broke down and bought proactiv. I've been trying it for about a week and a half so I don't have much to say on that front yet. We'll see what it looks like in another 4 weeks. I'm hoping this one is finally the answer *fingers crossed*

3. Lose weight. For good. None of this losing 15 pounds and then gaining it back. My first goal-lost 30 pounds before 2011. Once again, I only just started to so I don't have much to report on yet. But I joined weight watchers. And I've actually been cooking (shocking, I know) and making healthy fun meals. I've also been walking-with friends or with my ipod. I feel dedicated and even after just a day, I feel better. Probably because I'm on the right track.
4. Be happy. I mean, I am happy but sometimes when I'm tired and sick of working, I get moody. And I hate moody Camille. So my goal is to be happy. All the time.

So there you have it, just a short list. But a short list that has the power to change my life. Now I just need the encouragement to keep up with it. To not give up when I get discouraged.

My newest favorite toy. I love it because it is cute and tiny and prints pictures that look just as good (or maybe even better) than the pictures I get from photo developing places.

It's a little tiny photo printer that isn't even 6 inches tall or 10 inches long. And I love it. I love it even more becasue I bought it for work so I didn't have to use my own money :) I would totally recommend buying one if money isn't an issue for you.

I have been working on the Navajo reservation for 765 days (sounds like an incredibly long time doesn't it?). Which equals out to 25 months or in other words-a little over 2 years.

I lived on the Navajo reservation for 10 of those 25 months. The rest of the time I've lived in a little town just outside of the reservation.

I've learned a lot about the culture but you know what I haven't learned? The language. Not even a little bit. I know just one or two words. Which doesn't hurt me in my job since I would say that 90% of our kids don't speak Navajo either. And the 10% that may speak some, still speak English. So learning this incredibly difficult language hasn't been on the top of my to-do list.

Nonetheless, I have picked up on a few words as I've spent time here. Like yaht (I don't know how to actually spell the word, just say it).

Guess what yaht means? Lice. And guess who spent all yesterday afternoon combing yaht out of student's hair? Me. I don't know how it falls under the counseling duties but I guess it's necessary for their overall health so maybe we could tie it in somehow.

Still...I'm wishing that yaht was a word I didn't know. Actually I'm wishing that yaht was a word that didn't even exist because there was no word for it.

If I had a million dollars...

I would build my mom a house right next to mine.

Well I guess I would build myself a house right next to hers.

Or, I would just build two houses right next to each other. And my mom and I would live in them. Maybe I'd even build a few other houses and invite the rest of my family to live with me too.

Or I'd move to Hawaii and buy a whole island and let all my friends and families come live in cute little cottages.

Wait, I'm off topic. The point is, when I'm with my family they make me smile and laugh. You can see what I'm talking about from these pictures taken a few summers ago at a family reunion. Where we couldn't shower. Don't judge me by my horrible hair.





All of these plans were determined after spending the weekend with my mom in B-town when she came to visit. It was fun. And went by much too quickly. Hence the making of millions and building dream houses.

I'm feeling stressed. The beginning of the school year. Decisions to be made. Family situations to deal with.

It's like a mountain right? Once I've climbed up the downhill climb will be easy? Please tell me it's true. I need something to look forward too.

Surprise, surprise. I took the summer off. Off of work, off of stress and off of blogging.

I had good intentions. Just not good enough.

I'll sum up my entire summer in just a few words:

boston. reading. maryland. friends. family. georgia. nieces. nephews. american fork. movies. projects.

It was fun and busy and went by way too quickly. I'm back in the swing of things at school which means i'll be back in the swing of things at blogging. Just wait.

So Close I Can Taste It

Only .5 weeks, 2.5 days, 16 hours and 960 minutes left of school. Not that I'm looking forward to it or anything.

Today I Will Be Grateful

I'm taking a break from catch-up week (weeks) to share some of the things I'm grateful for today...

1. A new phone (finally) that doesn't echo everything I say and has fun new gadgets.
2. A fun visit with the C's this weekend-Con (grandpa), Christine (mom), Chelsey, Chris, and Cambria.
3. The fact that there are only 4 days left of school until summer break.
4. A good face and hair day...everything just looks right today.
5. Speaking of my good face day-a new face wash regimen that seems to be working and clearing my skin.
6. A new dress found for only $6 at Target which my momma bought for me.
7. $1 flip flops found at Old Navy.
8. My plans for tonight which include a nap and then watching the season finale of Lost that I recorded from last night.

It's all good.

via

Cruisin' to Cabo

Well, I was planning on all week being catch up week. But then I didn't blog on Monday just because. And then I didn't blog yesterday because I was busy at the dentist and eye doctor.

(No cavities but I need glasses. They will be coming next week and I'll take pics to show you the new me...at least until I can get used to seeing the way that apparently I should be seeing and then I'll move on to contacts)

But now I'm back for my Friday post. Which involves me finally posting some pictures of my amazing cruise. Enjoy.

Catch up #3

Remember how I took a week off of work to go on a cruise to Cabo with a bunch of my friends? I had a blast and here are the pictures to prove it...





Don't worry...I only have pictures of these three lovely people because they were stolen from my roommate Angie's camera. There were other people. And a cute seal that swam next to our boat. Those pictures belong to someone else so you will just have to imagine them.

Who doesn't appreciate a good award?

Work news is really only interesting to those involved. Or at least that is how I feel. Actually, sometimes even when I'm involved, work news isn't interesting to me.

It's just not fun to sit there and listen while someone else tells you about what they did during the day and what is happening at work. Unless maybe they work for the CIA or are a race car driver or something like that.

So even though it might only be interesting/exciting to me...I'm going to share my exciting work news with you.

Catch up #2
When I was hired to be a counselor, it was understood that I would be paid through a grant provided by the safe and drug free schools. And part of the understanding is that I agreed to do certain things during my time at Mexican Hat. One of those things was to apply for RAMP...which stands for Recognized ASCA Model Program. And for those of you that are really interested, ASCA stands for American School Counselor Association.

Basically when you receive the RAMP award, it is saying that you are running a counseling program that meets all of the federal guidelines. It requires an incredibly time consuming report and it is difficult to receive. I won't bore you with all of the details since I've probably already bored you with the ones I've shared thus far.

The point is-guess who received the RAMP award?

That's right people...yours truly.

And guess who will be going to Boston on the 4th of July to receive my award (on the grants dime...not on mine)?

Right again.

It's good positive reinforcement. Sometimes you wonder if you are really doing anything good or right-and now I'll have a little plaque that says one time I was on the right track!

A promise unfulfilled and a story about an interview

This week is officially catch up week. Except that I already missed Monday of my catch up week. Boo. Anyway, as I mentioned last time I wrote, sometimes I make promises. And then fail to keep them. And reading back through old posts...I realized that I have brought my shortcomings in this area into my blogging life as well.

So in order to turn over a new leaf, I have decided to fulfill those as yet unfulfilled promises.

Catch up #1

I may have mentioned a few weeks ago (okay fine, a few months ago) that I went on a job interview. Or that I was going on a job interview. But since that was a few months ago, I have now been on said job interview. It was for a school district up north that had some openings. The interview went fairly well although it could have gone better. I felt as though they were moderately impressed and that if I expressed some interest, I might be able to get a job. Only the problem was that I wasn't feeling the job.

It might seem crazy to a lot of people that I'm working out in the middle of nowhere and that I've decided to stay another year. Heck, most of the time it sounds pretty crazy to me as well.

But my decision to come out here was the first decision in my life that I was 100% sure was the right decision.

I just knew.

And the first time I pulled in here? I felt like I was coming home.



Sure there are still times I hate being here. There are times when I would rather be any where else in the world. Most of the time I wished that I lived closer to my family and my friends that live too far away.

But lots of times I love being here. I love the slow peaceful lifestyle. The fact that there isn't any traffic and there are no stoplights to slow me down. The new friends that I've made who have started to become my "family".

It's home for right now.



I was grateful that I went to that interview, even if it was just because it helped me to remember all the good things about being down here. So I'll stay.

I make promises a lot. Promises that I fully intend to keep but somehow end up overlooking eventually. Next week the whole week will be dedicated to fulfilling all of the blog promises that I make and never follow through on. Be prepared.

Another thing I never follow through on? My goals. Remember about a year and a half ago when I made a list of 101 things I was going to do? Okay so you probably don't remember since that was a YEAR AND A HALF AGO. (if somehow you are actually interested in that list, read it here) Guess how many goals on the list I have actually completed? 23.

You might be thinking that that isn't so bad (I thought that for a second too). Until I realized that I would only have like a year and 2 months to finish and I'd already done all of the easy things. There is no way I'm actually going to finish.

So you know what I do when I realize that I am going to fail at completing something? I revise my original list.

In honor of my recently passed 28th birthday (can you believe that I'm 28?? Pretty sure I can't!), here are 28 things that I really am going to do in the next year...I'm keeping it easy to make sure that I will succeed).

1. Read 1 new book every month.
2. Go to the temple at least once a month.
3. Call a different friend every week to chat.
4. Do something I'm scared of.
5. Hold hands with a boy I actually like.
6. Drink more water.
7. Go on a road trip to somewhere I've never been.
8. Read the entire Book of Mormon.
9. Buy a plant.
10. Visit a psychic.
11. Take a train instead of a plane.
12. Spend time with all of my nieces and nephews.
13. Watch every movie that I own.
14. Organize/clean out my entire room.
15. Figure out a miracle way to get rid of acne.
16. Write an actual letter to someone.
17. Learn to cook dinners.
18. Make my own pickles.
19. Visit Roswell, NM.
20. Learn to play the guitar.
21. Do something that I've never done before.
22. Learn to play at least one song on the piano.
23. Create a 72 hour kit.
24. Do better about keeping in touch with my extended family.
25. Pay off a credit card.
26. Shoot a gun (at a target that is).
27. Pay my tithing faithfully every month.
28. Love myself.

I just got some great work news...some good positive reinforcement that I am in fact doing what I'm supposed to be doing as a school counselor.

As a reward, I'm letting myself go home early. I'll tell you all about the good news on Monday.

Happy Friday!!!

Random thoughts of the day...

1. My blow dryer decided two days ago to say farewell after many years of faithful service. Pretty sure that I've had the little tyke since college years. Normally the fact that the little blue blow dryer died would make me feel sad and would create a bad hair day for one day but remember how I live in Blanding? Guess how close my nearest Target is? (I won't even tell you because then you will just feel sorry for me and I don't want that). So the fact that my blow dryer has met its untimely demise has plunged me into a depression (and bad hair).

2. Sometimes when it is late and dark, I like to say redrum in my creepiest voice (which is pretty creepy if I say so myself). It always freaks everyone out, including myself. And yet I continue to do it. Guess what I saw while I was in Cabo? A little sign with my favorite creepy word (and speaking of which, who would name a restaurant murder spelled backwards..that's creepy). Ignore the fact that it's not my greatest picture and pretend that this picture was taken after my blow dryer died, not before. It will make me feel better if you pretend.


3. Yesterday I had both a teacher and a kid say that I blended in better at the school now that I have my tan. Which means that they all think I'm tan enough to look Navajo. Yeah for being tan! I briefly thought maybe I should give up on blond and go back to dark here so I could blend in even better!

4. Yesterday I went out to one of my co-workers car to get something out of the back seat and when I opened the door, I somehow managed to hit my arm really hard. And bruise it. Seriously...is it possible that I could be getting more clumsy in my older age?

Remember how I mentioned a few posts back about how I went on a date? And remember how I promised to fill you all in on the details? Now is the time (finally).

Many of you may remember a few months back when I confessed to having a crush on a boy. We'll call him CM.

Well things haven't been progressing very quickly with old CM. In fact, they are pretty much at a stand still. I have no idea what he is thinking, I'm sure he has no idea what I'm thinking. And to be honest, just thinking about all this makes my head hurt a little!

Basically what you need to know is that CM is shy and kinda does his own thing. So if I want to talk to him, I have to initiate it. Every time. What you also need to know is that I am usually not an initiator. I do my best to always be the one that is pursued so that I can get by with little effort. Not because I don't want to put in effort. More just because I worry that if I put myself out there, I'll end up hurt.

So as you can imagine, things are tricky. I hate pursuing but I like a boy where I have to. Tricky.

Anyway, enough of my rambling and onto the actual story.

I'm on the phone with my mom, ironically filling her in on all of this information that i just shared and telling her that I was giving up on the whole situation. When suddenly my phone beeps.

And guess who is calling right at that very moment? Yep, you guessed it. Except that when it comes to dating, I think I move back into the junior high realm. So when I say hello, I realized immediately that it isn't CM on the other side even though my caller id is telling me that the call is coming from his cell.

It's his friend JT. And JT is pretending to be CM. Because like I said, 28 year olds dating isn't much different than 14 year olds dating.

Eventually CM gets on the phone and proceeds to stumble over some words which I interpreted to be him asking me on a date (it didn't' hurt that JT was in the background saying..."No, actually say the word date. Ask her if she wants to go on a date with you." So I got the picture.

I agreed (obviously) and I understood that CM and I would be doubling with JT and one of my roommates and we were going to have a fire/dinner.

I had fun. A lot of fun. We told silly stories (and I tried to tell my dad's famous scary story about the girl with the green ribbon around her neck), we talked and we laughed. I felt good about the whole situation.

And now it's been like a month and things are back where they were pre-date. In other words, who the heck knows what is going on? I'm pretty sure I hate dating.

Lately I've been in a funk.

Could be that I just got back from a wonderful 9 day vacation.

Or that the end of school is so near I can smell it and yet I'm still cramped up in my little tiny office for 5 more weeks.

All I know is that this week was blah.

You know the feeling? Nothing is really wrong but nothing is right either.

My pre-funk probably started when I had to go back to work last week. It was a long week. I was bored. I couldn't quite get everything done that I was supposed to. I kept forgetting things.

But you want to know when my official funk started???

That would be Friday morning. When I woke up late for work. And rushed down the stairs wearing slippery sandals. And fell down the stairs. Hard.

I ended up with sore muscles and a bruised back. I yelled at myself for being almost 28 and still not able to descend a flight of stairs gracefully.

Then my funk really started. Because I realized that I was almost 28.

And not only can I not descend a flight of stairs gracefully but I'm also still single and still overweight and still unsure about what I want to do with my life.

It was a downward spiral from there. The stupid falling down the stairs made my mind go into overdrive telling me all the things that I was doing wrong. I spent the weekend continually going over all that I was doing wrong. Not good. Every little thing suddenly seemed to be proof that I couldn't get it just right.

Does anyone else have days like these? Is it just me???

Then I woke up this morning and thought-this funk ends today. Period. No more moping and feeling sorry for myself. So on my hour drive to work, I spent the first half hour praying and asking for help and the last half hour telling myself the things that I have done right in the last 28 years.

Because while there may be things that I have to work on (okay, there may be a huge list of things that I have to work on), there are lots of things that I have achieved.

By the time I got to work, the funk was gone.

I'm sorry I have been missing for two whole weeks. I have a good excuse though. I was completely out of touch with the technological world for a week while I spent some time here:


And here:


I went a cruise to Cabo with a bunch of my friends and I had an absolute blast. I made some new friends, created some new memories, and had so much fun that it was almost impossible to come back to work on Monday.

I have cute pictures from my trip that I stole from my friends (because guess whose camera is still dead and guess who can't find the charger???) but they are all on facebook and alas, I can't access facebook from work. And work is where I do all of my writing since my internet isn't working at home. It's quite the pickle, no?

The point is...at some point in the future I will post cute pics and give more details on all of my adventures. But for now all you need to know is that I have a great tan and I'm counting down the days until summer break.

Have I told you about my bff Megan? Pretty sure I have mentioned a few times how amazing she is. Have I mentioned that she also has a pretty amazing little sister named Sarah? And have I mentioned that the three of us together is pretty much the best thing since mint oreo ice cream?

Megan and Sarah drove down to visit me for a little spring break action. And it was pretty much the best visit ever.

We practiced the color guard walks until we were laughing so hard that it was impossible to continue.

We did swing dance moves/flips while wearing the nacho libre mask.

We watched glee for hours on end.

We talked for hours and made big plans for how we were going to connect our families.

We played games and laughed until our sides ached.

And we just enjoyed eachothers company. A lot.

I miss them already. If I wasn't leaving to go on a cruise on Saturday, I'd probably be in a fit of depression.

Tomorrow I will be enjoying my day off. And Monday I'll be enjoying another day off with one of my dearest friends and her cute sister. So in other words, I'll be missing again from the blogging world.

Enjoy Easter. And be jealous that I have 2 days off!

I've been talking about work a lot lately (or at the very least I've been thinking about it a lot lately). Probably because most of my life consists of work. I commute 2 hours every day and then spend 8+ hours here. Not to mention all the stuff I take home-both to work on and to ponder on. It's kinda my life right now. (although I did have a date last night which was pretty fun)

Some days I hate that my life revolves around work, other days I'm okay with it. Today is one of those I'm okay with it days. Because I remember why I became a counselor in the first place. And why I'm still working on the reservation. I'm okay with it all because I feel like maybe I've managed to make some kind of difference for these sweet little kids.

And the kids have certainly made a difference in my life. You want to know how my day started out? Here is my what happened when I walked into a K class for a few minutes:

Kid 1-Oh Miss Camille, I love your shoes.
Kid 2-I love your shirt.
Kid 3-Well I love your jacket.
Kid 4-I love your shorts.
Kid 5-I love your hair.
Kid 6-You are so beautiful.

Makes your day, right?

Of course, then I sent a copy of it to a teacher friend who teaches at a rough high school, and this is how her day started:

I said “good morning” kid 1 said “ugg”
Kid 2 “f-you Seiter”
Kid 3 laughed
Kid 4 talked the entire class and asked me what I was going to do about it.
I said “ have a good day” kid 5 said “f- school”

Pretty sure I should always have "I'm okay with it" days since I never have to deal with the naughty older kids!

Today I'm grateful...

Grateful that it is a 4 day work week instead of a 5 day one

Grateful that the sun is shining and that I can wear a skirt without tights

Grateful that I have parents who love me and who guided me in the right direction

Grateful that I recently aquired (or will be aquiring very soon) so many nieces and nephews

Grateful that I have a Heavenly Father who knows me and loves me

Grateful that I have a job where each day I feel validated and loved

Grateful that I live in such a beautiful part of the country

Grateful that I actually have plans tonight that I'm excited for

Grateful that I have old friends and new friends that I can completely be myself with

Grateful that in 2 weeks I will be in Cabo, relaxing on a beach

Grateful that I was raised to believe in myself and what I am capable of

And I could go on, but that would probably bore the life out of you. Just know, I'm feeling pretty blessed today.

To Hear is To Know

If I believed everything I heard at school today, I would believe:

1. There are now crocodiles living in mud puddles in Phoenix that will bite your feet if you accidentally fall in.

2. There is a house somewhere in the south-eastern part of Utah that has thousands of eagles living inside of its walls.

3. There are cougars running around the reservation that attack little children if they get too close.

4. Some children are psychic and you can tell they are psychic because in pictures, you can see straight through their stomach to whatever is behind them.

5. I have about 60 "best-best buddies" in kindergarten and 1st grade.

I obviously still have a lot to learn....

Someone broke into my email...which has me all concerned that maybe I'm not as safe in the internet world as I want to pretend I am.

So with the encouragement of my wise mother, I have decided that maybe I need to make a few changes. Which means that my blog will soon be private. If you want me to send you an invite, please let me know...I'd love all of you who actually read this to still be able to follow!

Spring break is almost here. I can feel it coming closer with each passing minute. A whole week of freedom. A week to sleep in and lounge around and do all the things that I have been planning on doing but haven't found the time for yet.

I'm looking forward to a jaunt up north to see my adorable niece and sister and visit with friends and family. While I'm up there I might as well get my hair done and enjoy a litle Cafe Rio pork action. I'll go see a movie and go shopping way too much (in actual stores, not just online!). I might as well go ahead and interview for a job (more on that another time). I'll actually have time to enjoy myself and relax up there for a few days.

But then I'm coming back to the middle of nowhere to enjoy some actual down time. Where I don't have to worry about visiting anyone. Heck, where I don't even have to worry about getting ready for the day. Where I can enjoy a Jane Austen movie and book marathon while laying in bed all day in my pajamas. And that will be perfectly acceptable because it is spring break.

Maybe I'll actually find time to call back all the people who have been so nice to call and who I have been so rude to never call back. I'll clean out my nightstand (something I've been meaning to do for weeks) and maybe I'll even catch up on laundry. I'm hoping by the end of the week I will feel rejuvenated and organized and ready to take on the world. And I guess if I don't...I can always look forward to the cruise that I'll be going on 3 weeks after spring break (more on that later as well).
Can you see why I'm so looking forward to this spring break?

I drove to Logan last weekend. Which is way too long of a drive for a quick weekend trip. But I just couldn't miss the wedding of these two lovelies...


And of course, I also couldn't miss the photo opportunities that arose...



But after looking at these pictures I have just one question...should I cut my hair short or attempt to grow it longer?? Seriously people, this is an important question. And I need help. Tell me what to do.

Sometimes I'm really tired and I don't know what to write about. And sometimes I get inspiration about what to write from other people and their blogs.

Lately I've seen a couple blogs with the "challenge" to go to your first picture folder, find the tenth picture and then tell the story behind the picture. And I thought-why not? Might as well, I say.

So my tenth picture is...



Right now, looking at this picture, I am so sad that I am sitting in an office in Halchita, UT (is it still considered UT when you are on the Navjo Nation??? That's something I have yet to learn since I've been here) and not on a beach in Hawaii.

This picture was taken on Hanauma Bay. I was taking a break from snorkeling and nursing my tiny little cut from the coral reef when I remembered that if you got cut, you were supposed to go tell a lifeguard. And I noticed that the lifeguard was pretty hot (you can't really tell that from the picture so you'll just have to trust me on that one) so obviously I was too scared to actually go up to him and talk. Or show him my little cut. Instead I sneakily took a picture of him...which was pretty easy considering how many people there were with cameras around me.

My other favorite part of the picture...the nice guy in the speedo that also happened to be in my picture.

By the way, does anyone else hope that someday they make a new friend and are looking through their photo albums and all of the sudden see themselves in one of the pictures? I know it's bound to happen to me someday so I try to jump into as many pictures as possible when I see people snapping away.

So what I'm trying to say is, looking at this picture makes me nostalgic for Hawaii, reminds me of the little scar that I now have on my knee from snorkeling, makes me think how silly speedos are and reminds me that I need to jump into more pictures. Good.

I love when you are moving along in your life and you suddenly have a revelation. A small simple revelation but one that completely changes the way that you see things.

For too long I have suffered with thinking I am not good enough. Not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, overall just not good enough.

And then on Sunday, my newest friend Stephanie told me that she was looking through my fb pictures and that I look exactly like my littlest sister. And it suddenly struck me. I can't be "not pretty enough" because I know that Chelsey is beautiful.

Now every time that I start to have those negative thoughts rolling around in my head telling me that I'm just not pretty enough, I think...if I look like Chelsey, things must be better than what I see in the mirror.
I obviously still have a long way to go with the whole self-esteem thing but it's one step in the right direction. And it's all about baby steps, right?

And if you are wondering how my healthy eating committment is going, I'll just tell you it's going great. I'm still motivated and still working hard. I have exercised (mostly walking but like I said, baby steps) for 5 days in a row and been eating healthy for 6. I feel better and the scale implies that I'm doing something right since it's showing that I've already lost 6 pounds. Hooray for me!

After a lot of thinking the past few days, I decided that it was time to take some action. There are all kinds of things that I always talk about doing but then never actually follow through on.

Yesterday I decided that now is the time for action. No more just thinking about it and debating about it. So this morning I started on my first step to the new me...

Getting healthy.

I've been talking about getting healthy/losing weight for like the past five years. I have even given it some half-hearted attempts. But I never fully committed myself. I have some ideas of why I never did but I won't bore you with all of my inner drama. The point is, this time I'm committed.

(If you need further proof that I'm inspired, I got online this morning and found this post from one of my new favorite blogs)

My goal for day 1? Make better eating choices. Drink water. Take vitamins. Do all the things (in regards to eating) that I know I should be doing and none of the things that I know I shouldn't be. Each day I'll add in something else that will make me a better person. Closer to the person that I ultimately want to be.

Now I just need your support (and your prayers) that I can keep the commitment that I have now.

Do you ever stop missing someone who has left you?

It's been over 15 years. Fifteen years since I said goodbye and I still think of Clayton every single day.

Some days I still want to stay in bed and cry. Cry because the thought of him being gone forever still hurts. Cry because I can't remember the sound of his laugh or voice. Cry because now I can't remember if I really remember him.

Some days I smile when I think of him. Smile because I know that he must be happier where he is now. Smile because of the knowledge that I have that we will be together again one day. Smile because even though I miss him, I still had the chance to know him.

I wonder what he would look like. I wonder what he would have made of himself. And perhaps selfishly, I wonder what my life would have been like if he hadn't left.

He was my brother, the goofy little boy that made everyone smile with his mischevious grin. The one who snuck dead moles into the house in his lunchbox. Who collected acorns outside of the church. Who carried around his toy boxer everywhere he went. The one who snuck out of the bathroom window so he could explore the world.

I'm guessing the missing never stops just like the loving never does either.

Sunday is Valentine's Day. A day that constantly reminds those of us that are single...that we are still single.

Coupled people get flowers and chocolates and jewelry.

Single people get sympathy and a box from their mom (not that I'm complaining about getting a box from my mom, I love getting packages!!! I'm just complaining that it's not a box from some cute guy who obviously has a crush on me).

But I still can't help but like Valentine's Day. Maybe because it reminds me of the things that I do have in my life.

In honor of the day of love, here are some things that I love:

Number 1...my cute little nieces/nephew





Number 2...my mama and my sisters (I love my dad and brother as well of course)


(If you are wondering if that is the back of my mom's head...it is. She hates taking pictures so it's the best I could do)

Number 3...my bestest friends




Plus a few more million things that I love. Like my bestest friends growing up (Morgan, Bekah, Tara, Jessica) who hold a special place in my heart. Hawaii. traveling. chocolate. good TV. Pride and Prejudice. a good book. a Diet Coke. a comfy bed. owls. shopping. cowboy hats. rain boots. sunny days. Cafe Rio pork anything. my extended family. haunted houses. the internet. And most importantly, a loving Father and two brothers watching out for me from up above.

I may not have someone special to celebrate Valentine's Day with, but my heart is still filled with a whole lot of love.